Two years ago, I made a comment in a LinkedIn post: “I’ve never been the kind of person to give myself a Birthday party and I always admired people who did.” I was way too shy to ever do it for myself.
I was amazed when 200 people viewed that post and gave me support.
Last year, I was emboldened to give myself a Virtual Party. Again, the shy girl was facing her fear and taking a chance. As I look at my Analytics today, I see that 956 people came to that party. Amazing, absolutely amazing, and mind blowing!
So here I am again, the still-but-less-shy girl giving herself another party and issuing the invitation to people around the world. It doesn’t matter if you are one of my Followers on LinkedIn, YouTube, my 2 websites, or someone who has never heard about me.
I welcome each and every one of you and hope you will stop by.
Last year I shared my 3-year journey with Pancreatic cancer – the highs and the lows.
This year I will share my 4th-year journey as a Pancreatic Warrior Maiden.
I have to say this has been the hardest year of all – filled with losses of my 56-year-old nephew to Malignant Melanoma and my 49-year-old best friend in the Pancreatic community. Being with them at their death beds, seeing them on their last days, was gut and heart wrenching.
Their deaths brought me to a visual awareness that I, too, could die from cancer.
For a full 4-months, I became trapped in a repetitive loop of FEAR THAT I COULD DIE FROM PANCREATIC CANCER! I was terrified and could not escape, despite having been an Oncology Social Worker and a 50-year career as a Holistic Psychotherapist. None of my anti-anxiety, Self-empowerment tools would work.
The FEAR LOOP was relentless and all-consuming. It threw my nervous system into a perpetual FIGHT-FLIGHT-IMMOBILIZATION response which pumped stress cortisol and adrenaline into my blood stream causing heightened inflammation, depletion of my immune system, and I believe, a Recurrence of Metastatic cancer in my liver and a new small tumor in my abdominal wall. (One year prior, I had an Ablation of a small liver tumor, which kept me “tumor-free for 12 months.)
With this Recurrence, I had a second Ablation of the small liver tumor and a Cryoablation of the small tumor on my Abdominal wall – but they were not successful. Within 2 months, there were new tumors in the liver and the Abdominal cavity. My Interventional Radiologist said I was no longer a candidate for an Ablation. Furthermore, my small tumors did not lend themselves to surgery or radiation (as they were too close to vital organs.)
I was thoroughly and totally devasted! “What am I going to do?” After completing my first chemotherapy in 2020, I vowed I would never agree to chemotherapy again. I was on the verge of losing hope.
Then something miraculous happened: I surrendered myself completely to God. I let go of my own will and asked God to guide me and show the way I should go.
I stepped into The Unknown with the Holy Trinity, humbled myself, went back to my Oncologist and told him, “Believe it or not, I am willing to listen to you. My body needs help. The Holistic approach outlined on my website: www.HolisticCancerRecoveryHub.com is not sufficient, by itself, to rid my body of Pancreatic cancer, and I require another level of medical treatment.”
My Oncologist, who has been so gentle and kind with me for the last year, rose to the occasion and said there were 2 possibilities: “We could go back to the administration of the IV infused Gemsar from 2 years ago, or we could try Xeloda, which is chemotherapy in pill form which the patient takes at home – 2 pills twice a day for 14 days, then 7 days off, followed by the same cycle until we get CT scan confirmation that the tumors are shrinking or killed.”
Knowing me as an extremely independent person and Holistic psychotherapist, he recommended Xeloda. I refused his suggestion twice – fearing possible bad side effects, but he finally convinced me: “Gemsar is more toxic, it would require you to have a port and go to the Oncology Clinic. By itself it has a low success rate. Xeloda is less toxic, you would have more freedom, it has a higher success rate.”
I am thrilled to report that I have competed my first 2 cycles of Xeloda, have had no side effects, and my health – body, mind, emotions, and spirit – is robust and flourishing. My Oncologist believes that the hard daily work I do with my Holistic approach to treating my cancer is responsible for this lack of chemo side effects.
I am grateful for each day, I have a new sense of Freedom and Joy, my creativity and clarity of mind are immense, and I am filled with Love and Purpose.
I share my life and experiences with the world, in hopes of inspiring and encouraging those who are struggling with challenges which seem unsurmountable and overwhelming.
I embrace this year’s birthday with Thanksgiving for being alive, for the Grace of God working in my life, for my family, friends, and those who support my work and mission, and my wonderful Medical Team at UCLA.
I am one happy girl, and I thank you for coming to my Virtual Birthday Party.
You can follow me on LinkedIn, Judith Anne Desjardins YouTube channel, or on my additional website: www.JudithAnneDesjardins.com
Blessings, Prayers, Health, Abundance and Joy to each of you in the New Year 2025.
#JudithAnneDesjardinsVirtualBirthdayPartyInvitation #GodsLightCastsoutDarkness #AStoryofNotLosingHope