Each of us has our own process of dealing with loss. No two people are alike.
What we have in common are the emotions and behaviors attached to loss: profound sadness, devastation, pain, depression, anxiety, overwhelm, guilt, anger, disorientation, grief, loss of identity, bitterness, resentment, cynicism – to name a few.
Like Kubler Ross’s Stages of Death and Dying, there is no standard cycle for the stages. In my experience of losing my beloved 15-and-a half-year old Australian Shepherd – Brutie Boy- it has been a very long process of moving through the stages:
LOSS/DEVASTATION/GRIEVING/POSTPONEMENT/RECOVERY/and GRACE.
The first year I was overwhelmed with profound sadness, bouts of sobbing, depression, and numbness. He was so intertwined with my heart and being that I did not know who I was without him.
A year after his death I took a solo trip to Kyoto, Japan with his Massi beaded collar incorporated into the strap of my leather purse, a photo of him, and his great Spirit by my side. I had to learn to do things by myself – this was a Rite of Passage.
In 2019 I spent the year trying to move forward with my life, while dealing with Covid19 isolation and restrictions.
With my 2020 diagnosis of Stage 1 Pancreatic cancer, I was tested beyond measure to form the RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF that I had had with Brutie. I literally had to FIGHT FOR MY LIFE while LOVING MYSELF at the very deepest levels of my existence. Brutie’s Spirit was with me on every doctor visit, my surgery, my chemotherapy, and treatment for pulmonary emboli. He lives deep within my heart and is with me at all times.
This video shows that I have entered the final stages of dealing with the loss of a loved one: RECOVERY and STATE OF GRACE. It has taken 5 long years but I have finally arrived.
Brutie and I send you PRAYERS, LOVE, and ENCOURAGEMENT for your recovery. Don’t let resentment, bitterness, postponement, and cynicism hold you back.
There is Life after Death and your loved one will always be with you. Embrace the LIFE THAT YOU HAVE NOW and BLESS THE WORLD.