When I returned to Santa Monica in September, after 2 months in Santa Fe, I had weakness and numbness in my right hand, wrist, forearm and upper arm. I was unable to type on my computer.
I went to UCLA Urgent Care and they had me admitted to the Emergency Room. The doctors ran some Neurological tests and ordered a CT scan of my brain, neck, and cervical spine, to rule out a stroke. They saw no evidence of a stroke and presumed I had a pinched nerve that was causing the numbness. They decided there was no justification to order an MRI of my brain.
Flash forward to God leading me to transferring my treatment to City of Hope Lennar Cancer Center in Irvine, California.
On my very first meeting with my Integrative Oncologist, Dr. Richard Lee, he not only did a thorough examination of every part of my body, but he also ordered a series of tests – an MRI of my brain, neck and cervical spine. “I want to make sure we are not missing anything.”
Much to our surprise, the MRI of the brain revealed 2 clusters of very small metastatic lesions in my brain. I must admit that cancer in my brain was extremely frightening news.
Dr. Richard Lee had already referred me to Dr. Percy Lee, head of Radiation Oncology, and there was an order written for 10 rounds of radiation to my umbilicus. I met a second time with Dr. Percy, and he suggested 5 rounds of targeted radiation to the right side of my brain.
I had eagerly accepted targeted radiation on my umbilicus – it was sore, sensitive to the touch, bothersome, and visible. But my brain? That was a whole other matter! We are talking about an area which has served my entire 50+years as an author, publisher, Holistic psychotherapist, and Matriarch of my family! This brain of mine, as well as my spirit, is my principal identity! This brain of mine controls my thinking, writing, creativity, the functioning of my body as an athlete, the way I manage to care for my body, mind, emotions and spirit.
“Do I really have to do this?” I asked Dr. Percy. “What would happen if we don’t treat it? His answer: ” The cancer would grow larger, to all portions of your brain, and you would be impaired and in uncontrollable pain.”
“Ok, then let’s move forward with it.” This answer came from my logical, cerebral cortex.
I found out later that my emotions had their own personal reaction. On the day before, the day of my first brain radiation, and the third day of brain radiation, I had a series of 3 episodes of panic attacks. My emotions were scared to death! They could not believe my brain would not be damaged!
I shared my feelings with my husband. I cried in the parking lot outside City of Hope. My husband took me in his arms, held me tightly, looked into my eyes and said, “You can do this! You are a Warrior. Everything will be okay, you will see.”
We marched in together, hand- in -hand. I prayed that God would spare and protect my brain while killing all remnants of the cancer. Once I was on the table, while the radiologists were strapping me into my specially designed mask and during the 10-minute treatment, I was totally calm – I prayed to God and praised the Holy Trinity the whole time.
My care team of radiologists were gentle, compassionate, understanding, and supportive each day. They made me feel loved and safe. At City of Hope you have the same team, the same radiation machine, in the same building each treatment. It is all under one beautiful roof
The video I am sharing today is my Graduation from 5 Rounds of Brain Radiation!!!!!
Truly God saved me. If He hadn’t guided me to City of Hope, the cancer in my brain would have gone undetected and would have eventually killed me.
Motto of this story: “It’s okay to be afraid, but don’t let FEAR keep you from getting the treatment you need. I thought it would be impossible, but it clearly WAS POSSIBLE, and it turned out to be a wonderful experience of sharing God with everyone in the Radiation Department and all the other patients getting radiation treatment. “